Should I continue with self-help techniques or seek professional help?

Deciding to seek help is not always easy. The fear of being criticised or stigmatised could lead people to avoid seeking help. However, seeking help and support is a sign of strength and the first step to a better life.

If you’re thinking about continuing with self-help strategies from books and the internet or seeking help from a professional coach, you may find the following checklist useful. Answering “yes” to some of these questions may suggest that it would be helpful for you to talk to a trained personal/life coach.

• Do you continue to struggle with stress, anxiety and negative feelings that impact your daily life?

• Are you unable to step back and examine your own thoughts, perceptions and assumptions, and would it help to have professional support you through such reflections?

• Do you find it difficult to make changes independently, or do you have difficulty sticking with such changes?

• Has your attempt to make the desired change in your thinking, attitude and behaviour been ineffective so far?

• Does worrying make it difficult for you to sleep or function effectively during the day?

• Are you avoiding essential, constructive and uplifting situations because of anxiety, fear of rejection, or lack of confidence?

• Does your coping strategies (marked by statements containing should, must or ought to) affect your personal and professional relationships in negative ways?

• Would you like to feel stronger, happier and healthier?

Contrary to a common misunderstanding, you don’t have to be insane, desperate, or on the brink of a meltdown to see a personal coach. Most people, at least at some point in their lives, can benefit from personal coaching. Sometimes the signs are obvious, but at other times, something may feel slightly off, which you cannot clearly figure out its root. So, you soldier on, trying to sustain your busy life until it becomes unsustainable and unmanageable.

Don’t hesitate to seek help if you are not feeling “yourself” or feeling unreasonably sad, angry or anxious. You need to seek help if you find yourself abusing drugs, alcohol, food, or sex to muddle through. You need to seek help if something traumatic has happened to you and you find it difficult to continue your normal life.

What are the most common reasons for coaching?

These are the most common reasons behind my clients’ request for personal coaching:

• Dealing with change.

• Handling criticisms.

• Stress management.

• Body image satisfaction.

• Learning to be assertive.

• Dealing with perfectionism.

• Learning to relax (self-soothing).

• Seeking true happiness and contentment.

• Boosting self-esteem and self-confidence.

• Crisis management (handling grief and loss).

• Overcoming common phobias (e.g. public speaking).

• Overcoming performance anxieties (stage fright).

• Discovering the meaning and purpose of their life.

• Developing self-discipline and time management.

• Building and boosting appreciation, awareness, and mental control (mindfulness).

• Developing a goal-oriented attitude (identifying, setting and achieving important goals).

• Expediting the recovery for patients who suffer from physical or mental illnesses. Coaching helps patients adhere to their treatment plan, learn new skills and habits, and see their health problems as a challenge to overcome. Mental health conditions that benefit most from supplementary or adjunct coaching may include:

  • Anxiety (including generalised anxiety disorder, social anxiety, and panic attacks),

  • Depression (including seasonal depression, situational depression, and major depressive disorder),

  • Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), including hoarding and messiness.

  • Emotional and Psychological Trauma (including PTSD and traumas induced by violent accidents, life-threatening illnesses, domestic abuse, bullying, death of a loved one, breakups, and rejection).